03.30.09
Textnovel
Yes, I know it has been awhile.
Hi.
Within this time period, I have not been working on much, as I was dealing with death. However, it became apparent to me that writing can and always will be, cathartic. So, like a big strangle to the heart muscle -
The first thing I would like to talk about is the entity called Textnovel . I was first asked to take part of this as a way to get more people to a newby site, by the founder Stan Soper. He also encouraged me to take part in their $1,000.00 prize. This sounds like a load of shit, because really … who is going to pay us idiot writers a whole grand just for our silly ideas? I, however, being the optimist that I am, took part in their first contest and sadly, lost. You can find my entry here.
The basics on the contest is that you harangue everyone you know to “vote” for you on the site (voting is basically clicking a little ‘thumbs up’ icon at the top of the story page. You do have to sign up at the site to do this. However, I pretty much never get e-mails from Textnovel, so don’t worry about Spam. Then the stories with the largest amounts of ‘thumbs up’ points goes to a Editorial Advisory Board, who vote on their favorite story and whoever gets the most votes, wins. Pretty simple.
As many of you may know, I have a love/hate relationship with this site for many reasons, but have decided to write their again, because – why not? Even if you don’t win a damn thing … you get your work out there to a new audience!
I can guarantee you that this is 100% legit and you DO get a grand (the winner actually put up a screen shot on her Facebook of the check, as no one believed her. I have spoken with her at length, and she is a good sort, and I am very happy for her for winning.) You also get ol’ Stan to work as your “agent” of some kind (if he wants to) for a whole year. As far as I can tell, the winner has had a lot of offers from her book.
As you can see from the site, these are Cell Phone Novels. Which generally means people can download your story and read it on their cell phone or whatever mobile device they have. Pretty wicked (though I never used this option, as my cell phone is an old grand daddy that would not be able to handle this.) However, you are completely open to writing a ‘normal sized’ novel as well, as Stan is also looking for ‘real’ book length literature.
Recently, as I said, I realized that writing could be the most cathartic thing for me in this situation. So, I started a new novel (hopefully MUCH better than my original, which ended up as a crazy blood bath). My new story is
To Those Of You Who Have Never Been Afraid .
I am only on chapter four, so be patient! I am working up to some good stuff about ol’ Connie and David! Anyway, if any of you out there were ever considering taking your writing “further,” sign up for Textnovel. It is a really easy way to get your work out there and possibly win a grand! Or, if you do not want to do that, vote for my story! I only have a couple of months left to finish this thing, so any help is definitely LOVED.
Be sure to leave me a comment if you start up your own novel there, so I can read it and give it a thumbs up as well!
Much love,
H.
03.05.09
Interview (FINALLY) with Featured Writer Jake Svercek!
1. Tell us a little about yourself and your writing, Jake:
I’m incredibly left-brained so if you’re looking for a really clever response to any of these questions, you will be sorely disappointed.
I have a love-hate relationship with writing. For a while I was really horrible at it, then got better and wanted to be a writer, then changed my mind.
I changed my mind because I’m an expressionist, and I value what we have to say through our art. So to me writing is about expression more than anything, and I didn’t want to jeopardize that by making my writing commercial.
2. How do you feel about Blackout Poems?
I think they’re brilliant. If only I were brilliant enough to be good at them.
3. How old were you when you started writing poetry? How old were you when you started writing ‘good’ poetry? How did you get there?
I was 11 when I wrote my first poem. As for good poetry, I don’t think I’ll ever get there. Though the first poem I wrote that I thought was worth publishing was in junior year of high school.
4. What would you do if someone changed your name to Octopi Sanderson without your consent, and then everyone refused to then call you Jake ever again?
I’d be really amused by that, but only for a little while. I’ve gone through ten or twenty names, pen names, legal names–they don’t really stick with me.
5. How do you feel about publishing?
I think publishing has gotten incredibly commercial, and I’m not okay with that.
6. Who is your favorite writer (and poet) and why?
This changes over time. Right now I’m a big fan of Jeffrey Eugenides because I could see myself writing like that if I got a lot better at it. He doesn’t have a set voice–which may sound bad, but I favour flexibility, and he’s just an incredibly powerful writer.
I don’t have a favourite poet at the moment, but I have been getting into spoken word, and Andrea Gibson is pretty fantastic. If you haven’t already, you should look her up.
7. Tell us about yourself, the self that isn’t a writer.
I’m a perfectionist, procrastinator, narcissist, and never happy about anything. I don’t get a lot of sleep. I have too much on my plate and even more in my stomach. I have more daydreams than dreams, and I’m a business major, but I don’t know the first thing about the stock market.
8. Is grammar important to poetry?
Yes, in the sense that people should know what they’re doing. If they write something using bad grammar for a reason, and it works, that’s okay. But if they just have no idea how the English language works, that is not okay.
9. Is Texas important to poetry?
No. There are some good poets from Texas on deviantART and other writing communities, but I was a member of the Poetry Society of Texas last year, and it’s a joke. Texas is not particularly well-known for poetry.
10. Lastly, who would win in a fight: Vonnegut or Palahniuk?
Vonnegut. Palahniuk writes like a badass, but he’s really just a big nerd. You can tell by looking at his face.
BONUS QUESTION:
Is it possible for art to eventually die off, once there is no more “newness” (hypothetically)?
No. There is never any newness, just people saying things in different ways. Everything’s been said before, but it hasn’t been said in the exact way that you or I would say it.
Jake’s question for me, H. Bell:
Would you rather have your left arm sawed off (no anesthesia) or never be able to write poetry again? Explain why.
I would never write poetry again. But you didn’t say I couldn’t write anything so I would write things on my supermarket lists like “I am the saddest woman tonight,” and you can’t get mad because see, maybe I am just sad. That isn’t poetry, just sadness. And on my to-do lists I would write, “there are many things in this world that you must do alone,” and you can’t get angry about that because, well, it’s true isn’t it? And then I would go to a hair salon and say, “here are my famous last words,” and it wouldn’t matter what I said after that, because it wouldn’t be a poem. And you couldn’t get mad.
(which I, of course then write out in entirety from the link because you people are assholes about clicking links and this is important. As Jake has previously said, he is attempting to win a huge competition for an artist nonprofit he has started. Read on-)
“A group of us on dA are starting (or growing, rather) a nonprofit art organization called Artist of Tomorrow. Currently we are in the Dell Social Innovation Competition to win $50,000 in seed money to help artists around the world.
You can help us get to the next round by voting for us here: [link]
1. Register (it only asks for an email address).
2. Click the promote button.
Here’s a bit about what we do:
1) We provide opportunities for individuals through art.
From high-risk kids in poor neighbourhoods to frustrated white collar workers, we aim to help everyone who has something to say by giving them the opportunity to do so through art. I’m sure you are all aware of the expressive nature and power of art–we want to bring that to, literally, everyone, so people around the world have the opportunity to express themselves.
What do we mean by opportunity?
- local support: branches in your community filled with artists who will support each other. We have artists around the world starting communities to help local artists.
- global network: currently working on a forum and interface on our website where all the local branches can get together and connect and interact.
- public support: we have a number of projects that aim to make art relevant again and create a larger market for artists. For example, One Million Pages (~onemillionpages) simultaneously increases literacy and helps out novelists and writers.
- resources: we are currently compiling tutorials and other resources by professors and experts in various art media to help artists grow their craft.
- direct exposure: we will be partnering with publishers, magazines, museums, art exhibitors (don’t know if that’s the right term for them), record labels, you name it, in the future to give talented members many more opportunities to be profitable at what they love without giving up their individual expression.
2. We increase understanding and openness on a global level.
Let’s be honest, art helps us see other people’s perspectives. Once we get everyone communicating, expressing, listening to each other, we can strengthen understanding, openness, and tolerance around the world.
Maybe that’s the answer to ending wars. Maybe it’s the beginning of world peace.
(Anything is possible.)
So in conclusion, this is a last ditch effort to ask artists around the world to help us grow the organization. If you believe in art, please vote!
We can also be found at ~artistoftomorrow.
ALSO:
Tomorrow is the LAST DAY to help get $50,000 for art. Voting ends at 5PM CT on March 5th, so please vote if you have not already and plug it in your journals so your friends can vote!
Love,
H.
03.03.09
Writing Exercises And I Eat Your Cat.
Again, I was going to finally do the interview with Jake Svercek, but I have yet to ask him any questions. I have been having a hard time writing lately. I feel like I am sitting in a therapy room and I should say, “Hello, my name is H. and I am a bullshit artist.”
Or, “Hello, my name is H. and I am an asshole.”
Or, “Hello, it was me that killed your cat.”
I decided to try some of those ‘writing exercises’ you can find online by Googling (or Yahoo-ing for all of you people who want miscellaneous crap on your search page) ‘writing exercises.’ This proved to be the stupidest thing I have ever done. If you ever want to write a lot of stuff about your ’sorrowful broken heart,’ or EROTCISM or ‘I want to jump off a bridge like a teenager with a mild to severe steriod problem,’ then do a writing exercise. I don’t like writing exercises. Instead, this is what I suggest:
In this case, I chose to read I AM GOING TO CLONE MYSELF THEN KILL THE CLONE AND EAT IT by Sam Pink.
I shall allow you the glory of an excerpt:
LET’S TAKE A BATH TOGETHER
Hold my hand. Let’s take a bath together. I don’t mind if it’s cold in the bathtub. And I don’t mind being crowded. When you are not looking, I will open my mouth by your head to see if it would fit inside. If you notice, I will say, “I must be tired” and then under my breath I will add, “of not biting biting your head.” I will put bubbles in the bath and throw a handful of them in the air. I will say, “Yay, it is snowing.” You will say, “Don’t lie to me.” I will respond, “But it is so much fun.” I will wash you with a bar of soap made of soft skeletons but I will not tell you. If I told you, you’d probably just leave. I will run the bar over your body and wish I was the bar because after touching your body, the bar doesn’t have to say a word. I will watch the dirt go down the drain. “I’m out of towels,” I will say. “I think I have some downstairs. Let’s go check.” While we are checking, I will push you into the oven. I will dry you in the oven. And you press your hands and face against the glass. Let’s take a bath together because when I take a bath by myself I am afraid I will drown.
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I feel a little more relevant now. I feel like writing something, perhaps getting this something made into a neon bar sign and hanging it in front of your house. Perhaps I never met you, but I just watch you as you walk your dog on Monday evenings and I wear dark glasses and a low hat. Perhaps I would like to say, “hello,” but I suspect you would think I am imaginary. I feel like writing something and smoking a cigar on the back patio and you are in the basement. I feel like writing a love poem now. Do you?
.
I think we all should buy that book. OK. I can’t stand it when people say they never read poetry or fiction because it would “affect their own work.” This makes me very angry. This usually means you are a thirteen year old with bad skin who masturbates too often to photographs of the young Susan Sarandon. Usually, these people write terrible diatribes about their “crimson blood” and their mommy sex fantasies. Go to Hell. Read a book. Read any sort of book (unless of course, it has to do with adolescent vampires discovering love for the first time, lawyers solving the same old case over and over, or mysteries with the word “cat” in the title.) Reading books helps you write much better. And let’s be honest, you write like shit.
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If anyone has anything to say that is amazing and/or has to do with erectile dysfunction, please e-mail me or let me know in other, more interesting ways.
Love,
H.
